Abuse & Advice: An Online Resource Guide on Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is not just physical; it also encompasses emotional violence. It can also take the form of financial abuse.

It is an abusive behavior where the perpetrator aims to control the victim, usually a spouse or a domestic partner. It includes sexual and financial abuses, and not just limited to hurting someone physically.

The most common of all that is visible to the public eye is physical violence. The victim usually has bruises and black eyes. They are often scared and they also usually refuse to talk for fear of getting retaliation from the abuser.

A sexually abusive partner is one who forces the other one to perform sexual acts against her will, which also includes criticisms or hurtful sexual comments again the victim.

Those who commit financial abuse control their partners by stealing money. They may also keep money away from their spouses or partners—money that the victim made. Along with this are actions that make it hard for the victim to access finances, abuses that revolve around emotions related to spending, and actions whose goal is to control the victim.

Those who abuse others emotionally criticize and humiliate their partners in public. They also lie, cheat, and threaten the victim. These abuses gradually take their toll on the victim, and it impacts their self-esteem, morale, confidence, and health.

Unlike physical abuse, this is difficult to detect because there are no physical signs. Also, not all verbal abusers use threats and intimidation. This can take the form of name-calling, blame, mocking, cursing, and other hurtful words that one can hear.

A partner exposed to this kind of violence will eventually lose their self-respect, their confidence, and her self-esteem. They will not leave the abusive relationship, as they have developed doubts about their capacity to live on their own.

Physical abuse is easy to spot. The victim has bruises and other signs of physical violence. Some examples aside from bruises are bite marks, pain, laceration, and fracture.

A victim of physical abuse may often wear heavy make-up or long-sleeved shirts to cover the signs of abuse. They often do not want other people to see it, and they do not want to talk about it. There are also behavioral signs such as missing work, missing school, or being away or sick for a long time without any medical explanation.

Emotional and mental abuse come in the form of verbal assault. Usually, the abuser will threaten the victim, or blame them for the problems that they are experiencing. One common abuse in this form takes in the shape of one partner dominating the relationship. The abuser is usually the one who makes decisions, and the other one is left to merely comply.

Emotional abusers usually treat their partners as immature individuals that they can scream at and control. They are also known to isolate their partner, refusing them to see their friends or family. Sometimes, the emotional abuser sets strict limits to the other, like she should be home at a specific time of the day. In some worse cases, the abuser will not even let the other use the phone without their explicit permission.

Sexual abuse is a little difficult to spot. It must come from the victim for it to be known. Sexual abusers control their partners and force them to have sex despite the victims not wanting to. If a partner refuses to use contraceptives, despite the other partner insisting, this is also sexual abuse.

Medical professionals usually observe signs of sexual abuse. Bruising on the genital areas are a sign of sexual abuse. The issue with this is that the victims sometimes refuse to speak out of fear or embarrassment.

In financial abuse, the abuser controls the other by hoarding the money that the victim produced. In these cases, the abuser may keep the credit cards or the cash, and deny access to the victim.

Sometimes, the abusive person will not even let the other person work, making her inadequate financially. Some abusers take the money and restrict the victim's spending, and then spend the one on their lavishness or vices such as alcohol or drugs.

Victims of domestic violence usually feel that they are helpless and that there is no one to help them. They feel alone. The truth couldn't be farther from that. There are many organizations dedicated to fighting domestic violence and groups that will provide aid and support to the victims.

Some groups can even offer shelter to the victim temporarily as the victim rebuilds her life. The most important thing that a victim has to do is to plan carefully how she will handle the situation, how to escape, and how to bring the perpetrator to justice. This has to be done when the abusive partner is not in the house.

The reason for this is that you need to prevent the abuser from getting violent. It is not unusual for abusers to go on a rampage upon knowing that their partner is leaving them.

The first step to take is for the abused person to speak to her friends or family members. In cases where the abuser limits the victim's communication, the victim must use the first opportunity to let other parties know that she is suffering.

Then, the person who found out—a friend or family member—must seek the help of other individuals or the authorities. In mild cases, this can be resolved within the family. The victim's friends or families can call national or regional hotlines to report the case, or seek help from organizations against domestic violence.

Many organizations are available 24/7, and they will provide guidance and support to anyone who is suffering from domestic violence.

Getting out of this situation can be a scary ordeal, but the victim has to be steadfast. Nobody has the right to abuse any person, and everybody deserves to be treated humanely.

The resources below will help guide you to further reading about domestic violence and the forms that it take. There are also links here that will take you to the appropriate support groups that you can call for help, guidance, and support.

• What is domestic violence? – this is a resource that will help you better understand the technical definitions of domestic violence.
• Types of Domestic Abuse – here you will learn the different forms of domestic violence.
• Emotional Abuse – this site carefully explains the meaning of emotional abuse.
• Protect Yourself Against Financial Abuse – this site elaborates on the definition of financial abuse, and what you can do to stop it.
• Help for Domestic Abuse – this is a site where you can get help if you are suffering from domestic abuse.
• Fatherhood and Domestic Violence – in this site, you will be introduced to the National Institute on Fatherhood and Domestic Violence.
• The Signs of Domestic Violence – here, you will see the signs of domestic abuse and violent relationships.
• Hotline or Domestic Violence – here is a site where people can get help if they are victims of domestic abuse and violence.
• What Are Abusive Relationships – this is a resource where you will understand the dynamics of abusive relationships.
• Domestic Abuse Against Women – here is a resource that presents key facts about violence against women.
• Groups Against Domestic Abuse – this is a list of organizations you can count on if you are a victim of domestic abuse.
• Barriers to Leaving an Abusive Relationship – here are some reasons why those in an abusive relationship cannot leave.
• Support for Domestic Violence in the UK – here is a resource that shows how you can get help in the UK if you are going through domestic abuse.
• Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence – read this webpage to understand more these two pervasive issues that happen to victims of rape.
• How to Get Help for Domestic Abuse – here are some tips on how to get help if you are suffering from domestic abuse.
• Soldiers and Domestic Violence – here is a medical journal about domestic violence after the deployment of a soldier is over.
• Marital Rape – here is the legal definition of martial or spousal rape.
• Dating and Domestic Violence – here are facts about violence that occur during dating.
• Helpline for Domestic Abuse for Men and Women – this page shows you what number to call if you are going through a violent ordeal whether you are a man or a woman.
• Handbook About Domestic Violence – this site offers a list of resources and information about domestic violence and your legal rights.
• The Cycle of Domestic Violence – this site shows the behavioral cycle of domestic violence.
• Statistics on Spousal Abuse – here are some stats that will show you the gravity of this issue.
• Facts About Domestic Violence – here are some quick facts about domestic violence and domestic abuse.
• National Hotline for Abuse – here is the number to call if you want to report domestic abuse.
• How to Prevent Domestic Violence – here is a resource that can help you take the right steps to prevent domestic violence in your community.
• Signs of Domestic Violence – here are some signs and symptoms of someone going through domestic violence.
• Home Violence Awareness – here is a page where you can learn about domestic violence and activities that the DMVA Project is launching.
• Domestic Abuse and Control – this is a site for women that shows what coercive control is about.
• Domestic Abuse Therapy – here is a site that shows where you can get support and therapy for domestic violence.