An Online Dating Guide to Courting in the Victorian Era

The Victorian Era was the period when Queen Victoria ruled England. The period spans between 1837 and 1901. Although no one knows the exact end date of the era, its legacy lives on, and we can see evidence of it in many things such as furniture, culture, traditions, and customs. Her son, King Edward VII, took the crown and ruled from 1901 to the time of his death.

It was during the Victorian Era that men and women upheld high standards of morals. Both genders behaved with modesty and complied with rules of etiquette, especially those who belonged to the upper echelons of society. It is noted that people of lower financial status were much more liberal than the upper class. They were free to express themselves, and they were also sexually explorative.

During the period, there were rules about courtship, and people looked down at a couple who eloped. Two people leaving the town with no regard to the opinions of their elders were rarely heard of. To them, courtship required hard work, decency, and political acumen. Women used courtship to secure husbands who had political power. Marrying the right guy meant financial security for her and her children.

On the flip side, a man can get wealthy if he marries a rich woman. Her property will become his once they marry. It is this culture that allowed men and women to choose their partners instead of having it arranged by their parents. But still, affluent families had something to do with their children's choices. Most parents set up an introduction between their children and influence their decisions to marry each other. They did this to secure political bonds and alliances.

The way parents did this was through balls and dances. Men and women would be invited, with the young man or woman as the host. Other parents would persuade their daughter or son to join the dance to meet the host and hopefully form a relationship.

In these occasions, a chaperone would accompany the woman to ensure that the man would not defile the woman. Men also had to fill out their names on dance cards, hoping to woo the lady by the time his turn comes. During these dances, a man can have three sessions or dances with the lady. After the ball, the woman will choose from the cards and give that card to the guy. It is a signal that the guy can start courting the lady.

The most important thing in the Victorian Era was reputation, especially so for women. Courtship rules existed to protect that reputation, including the need for a chaperone. In those times, men and women cannot say a thing to each other. They had to be introduced first.

After the ball, the couple can speak and move on to walking together. As they go on dates, chaperones were still present all the time. This presence was required to ensure that the woman was a virgin at the time of marriage.

A lot of books exist about the traditions of the Victorian Era. These books delve deep in these customs. And many also elaborate on the expected etiquette. An example of a good book is Godey's Lady Book. You will also find a ton of information on the following:

• The Laws of Etiquette
• Mrs. Beeton's Book of Household Management
• Manners and Social Usages
• Manners for Men by Mrs. C.E. Humphry

Here are some resources you can read about the Victorian Era.

• Courtship Rules in Victorian Era – here is a website where you can learn more about the rules and marriage facts in that time period.
• Social Classes in the Victorian Era – here, you will find details about the social rankings of people in the olden times. It will help you understand how the social class influenced courtship.
• Courtship Rituals – read this resource to help you get a summary of a book that exposes how courtship was done in the Victorian Era.
• Sex and Sexuality in the 19th Century – here is an interesting article about the sexual culture during the 19th century.
• The Evolution of Courtship Rituals – if you are looking for a long history of courtship and how it evolved over the centuries, read this resource.
• 19th Century Dance – here is a resource that can guide you how dances were executed in old America.
• Social Dancing in the 19th Century – read this resource to get an idea of how dances occurred in different eras in the 19th century.
• The Power of Etiquette – here is an excerpt about a book called Everyday Life & Women in America.
• Manners in the 19th Century – here is a list of expectations from the 19th century, and you can see that there are still several that are observed until today.
• Courtship in America – this resource takes us back in time to understand the history of American courtship.