Many movies show a solider about to be deployed in a hot embrace with his fiancé. Some show a long kiss just outside the gate of the military camp. Or outside the house, while a jeep is waiting for the military man.
This is the glamorous side of romance. It is titillating and nostalgic, reminiscent of the time when we were young. But real life shows that this is a stressful relationship. Movies do not show that many of these relationships fail.
Despite the advances in communications technology, keeping your sanity while your partner is waging war against your country's enemy is difficult, to say the least. But with proper knowledge and motivation, you can ensure that your relationship does not fall apart. This applies to anyone in a relationship in any force: be it the Army, Air Force, or Navy.
The person in the battlefield receives undue stress not only because of the pressures of war but also because of the long distance relationship. The person who was left behind has to worry if her pertner is still alive. Everyday is filled with anxiety, not knowing how the other person is doing. This problem is aggravated by the fact that in the warzone, not all military personnel have access to communication devices to contact their loved ones. In many cases, the networks do not work because the enemy has disabled the communication lines. The only thing that works is the line that the government uses.
On top of that, military officers have varying schedules. Plus the fact that the bills, if the lines even work, are sky high. One option is to use VOIP. What many people do is to set a schedule to be on video call. They use video call platforms like Skype or Facebook. Despite the thousand-mile distance, seeing each other live on video lifts the heart. It is enough to motivate one person, knowing that the spouse is safe back home and the children are fine.
One way to keep the relationship alive is to tell stories about each other's day, like as if you are together back home. These little chit chats keep you connected and help keep the intimacy between the couple. It also reduces the feeling of being alone.
For some couples, it is a habit to send each other snail mail and packages. The snail mails come in the form of greeting cards, hand written and with lively colors. For somebody who is away, nothing beats the feeling of unwrapping a box with contents carefully selected by his loved ones.
It is not uncommon to question the fidelity of the partner who was left behind. Being far apart from each other is a true test of loyalty. Each couple commits to a vow to remain faithful while others switch to an open relationship. Some people break up just to spare themselves the agony. Whatever it may be, the couple must make a decision and try to stick to it. Both should have clarity on the arrangement and set each other's expectations clearly.
Should the couple decide to have a long distance relationship, they must ensure that they keep their lines open. If one gets too lonely, he or she must inform the other. They must talk and comfort each other. It is also a good idea to join support groups where one can get motivational words from others who are sharing the same problems. Most importantly, honesty should be imposed at all times.
Temptation will happen. But before falling into it, you must understand that there are consequences. And most of these are bad. Instead of falling for it, find ways to keep yourself busy.
A common thing that happens in long distance relationship is that it just dies a natural death. Despite the efforts of the couple to remain true and loyal, despite the efforts to communicate, the spark simply goes away. One thing to do to keep the love alive is to keep interacting in creative ways. An example of this is to consistently send photos. This helps the couple in staying connected emotionally. Pictures of the couple being together before the other left is also a good thing to send as a reminder of the love that they shared while they were physically together.
If there is a way to communicate longer, the couple can join each other in an activity that happens real-time, like a board game or any fun activity. They can also surprise each other. To do this, one of the couple must reach out to a friend or a family member. This friend can buy a gift and personally deliver it to the recipient.
Below are some resources that can help you maintain a good relationship while the other one is far away, deployed into serving his country.