1Sarge: A 42-year record of true love to her last breath.

I am a simple reserved natured old-fashioned guy who likes to take life slow and "savor the flavor of each moment. I have a caring heart but after almost losing my home to having my identity taken twice, I will not be walked on by scammers. With that history, if you are asking for money or anything, you will be considered a scammer. I hate having to be this way, but these days, you gotta protect yourself. I do want to meet anyone wishing to actually date me in person. You see things in person that no other way of communication can show. I prefer to me you in a public place area your area as you I will be on your turf and in a public place where you can feel safer. Make it a double date with someone you know if you wish. Offering to do this shows I am legit and thinking about you even before we can meet, which is a good start. I am a Baptist raised independent voting conservative. I can be civil with those who think differently from me, but it better be a two-way street. I am a widower of a cancer victim. She passed away in early 2019 with ten years of cancer pain that made it way too painful to be fully sensual. I chose to be celibate over cheating. Love does that. I tease she is in a place without pain. At least until I join her there. I have seen controlling and abusive people and just can't do that. I don't like liars, cheaters, users and abusers. I won't tolerate staying on the other side of that coin either. It is a choice of having a slave/master relationship or having a partner, and you can't have both. I expect us both to follow the rule that one can't make any rule that they themself won't follow, for then the partnership is gone. As long as you are faithful and openly honest, I'm basically happy. I believe if a man puts his lady's needs above his wants, he may be a keeper if love is real. I lived to make my late wife smile. A man who does any less likely isn't in love of anyone but themselves.

My go to music is Southern Gospel, and I was even in a church quartet for a while in that genre. I'd do it again if the chance came. I like softer to moderately loud genres as a whole. I don't like blaring music. I am not into the party scene or going to bars or clubs. As I age, I am looking to prevent heart issues by eating more natural unaltered food (with additives, chemicals, etc.). I am looking into milder exercises like yoga & meditation. Someone like minded would be preferred. I like doing my ancestry and writing song lyrics. I like to keep moving at a walking pace, but my speed up on what I'd do from time to time. I like bargain shopping at thrift stores, flea markets. garage sales, or most anywhere. I'll hold your purse so you can shop but I won't get in there, even if you ask me to. If times come when one of us isn't interested in doing something the other does, I think a little time apart brings us closer in the end. We are different personalities and letting the other be themselves only brings us closer. I do prefer someone who wants to grow together in the faith. I give you a lot of freedom to do things without me if you want as long as it's moral and you are faithful to me. It's good to know you are going to do something like shop with some friends. But I don't need an agenda or time frames of everything you do and when. If trust isn't there, then we won't last anyway. So why not show you I trust you? But I expect the same in return. I only need enough info so I won't needlessly worry about you. And I'd do the same for you. That kind of trust builds true love.

If you have had the wrong kind of men in your life, maybe this record of loyalty makes me worth considering. We all have imperfections that are not the best things to offer as desirable. I think it fair to lay these out up front. As a child I didn't take care of my teeth very well, so I earned the need to wear dentures. I was over 100 pounds overweight for a while and am now down to around maybe 50 to go. It's another reason to eat better as mentioned earlier. My late wife had a very hard delivery with my daughter, so the military doctors at the Army hospital ordered me to "get fixed", like I was a dog. Since they "fixed" me as ordered, I get to tell everyone they neutered me as a joke. But I know some ladies want children or more children. I won't need Maury to tell me I'm not the father if that ever occurred. I also realize every woman's family comes as a package deal. I am game to filling a dad or grandpa role. While I'll live in smaller city, the bigger the city is, the less I'll likely like it. I came from a comfortable small town to a small city, and I liked the small town better. And I had relatives who farmed. I always like the openness of the country. After 42 years with one special lady, I might be hesitant to make a move. If fate makes us a good match, I don't mind you making a first move. Something as simple as a gentle hug, snuggle, or taking my hand should make me aware of your interests. I would be more surprised than offended if you snuck in a kiss, if that's what you really want to do. To me, a kiss is a sign of affection, so I'm good with that if done tastefully. I am very cautious not to move faster than you are ready to, so that might hold me back on making a move if I' not sure you want more. It is more of a nervousness being with someone new plus just trying to respect you to the max more than fear. Let me know if I cross any line that you are uncomfortable with. It wouldn't be intended if I do. Giving you respect as a lady is important to me. Love can't grow without it, and that's what I seek.

The true you will come out eventually, so don't live a miserable fake life to impress me. We won't last if you do. If either of us can't take the other as is, then there's someone better for us both out there. If I fall for you, I want to fall for the real you. I generally prefer ladies who dress modestly, have simple hair styles they look good in (that isn't outdated) with normal hair colors. I don't like heavy makeup and prefer lighter tones or more natural ones. As a rule of thumb, the less tattoos & piercings, the better. But I have seen ladies the total opposite of this actually quite strongly appeal to me. The same hair, makeup, & fashion can look horrid on one-person and awesome on another. So being the real you is the best option. If any guy doesn't like it, tough cookies! Many guys may be drawn to a lady by the outward side, but as far as a relationship that works beyond cheap thrills, it's the inside they really look at. On first dates and in photos consider these two things. It is what made me fall in love with my late wife before we ever spoke or met face to face. Your smile shows your true heart, and your eyes show the great soul you have. so, smile a lot, especially in photos. And on first dates and in photos, never cover your eyes. If it looks like you are missing either, he will believe that you have neither. If you focus on what's wrong on the outside, he won't see what's awesomeness on the inside. For the part of you that you focus on is the part of you he'll see. Why show him the most negative side of you. That that's gonna win his heart. Show the positive of you and it will be noticeable as he considers you. I think this explains why some ladies who are outside of the range of what normally appeals to catch my attention. They were what is on the outside well because they wear what's on the inside better. Focus on who you really are within and avoid all other negativity within or without your heart, then you too can develop that inner confidence than can make the most flawed looking person look desirous. Even as a guy, I am as guilty of this as sometimes focusing on flaws the right lady won't care about anyway. I'm trying to learn to love the advice I just gave to all of you myself, for focusing more on flaws is uglier than anything flawed that can possibly focused on.

I prefer to love the heart more than flaws that might be noticeable within or without. Some attraction externally needs to be there but showing your heart & soul can make that more of a reality if people aren't as self-conscious in the negative way. It's why I won't turn you away on the grounds of your age, ethnic background, race, if you are disabled, and other such criteria. If our hearts are truly connected & in sync, those things don't matter. My maternal grandparents had a deep love, and there was shy of 29 years difference in their ages, so I've seen it work despite the odds saying it wouldn't. If they would had let age interfere with their love, oh the true love they both would have missed. I am one who likes being friends first, so throwing yourself at me is a turn-off. I want to deeply know your heart & soul first for as long as it takes to truly fall for you, and you fall for the true me. I leave that fate to God's plan and in His time, not ours. The lady who does that is more likely to get a great guy's heart in the end, to include maybe mine. Regardless of if I interest you as a potential mate or just a friend or not, we all are here seeking some level of some kind of love. No matter what my chances are with you now, in the end, I still hope you find the love you deserve and want. I hope you'll consider my advice and comments in the untended good spirit they were meant. I would be honored to have my advice be a part of why you land the man you are seeking, if it can, no matter if I am him or not. Love will come in God's time, so don't give up & know patience may be hard at times, but it is an attractive virtue. God bless.

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