Dating Feminists: How to Avoid Mistakes

By Marianna Draws

Feminism is an ideology that has become very popular in this age. It advocates for equal rights and opportunities for both of the sexes. Guys make a lot of mistakes when dating a woman already but make even more when dating a feminist. Many men are afraid of dating feminists because they feel intimidated by them. However, it is not that hard to be in a relationship with a feminist as it might seem, you just have to learn how to avoid putting your foot in your mouth. If you are here, you are already thinking about dating one with these values. Below are some tips on how you can avoid making mistakes when dating a feminist.

1. Her thoughts matter

If you want to understand her better learn to listen to her thoughts on various matters. You will learn new things from her that you might never have noticed. Like how differently the genders have been treated over the years or how one of your favorite movies or book is sexist.

2. Respect other women

When dating a feminist, you will have to pay closer attention to how you treat other women, not just her. You will be making a mistake if you talk to or about other females disrespectfully. It is not uncommon for people to speak about their exes during their first date. However, talking about them can reveal details about the personality of a person. Don't call your exes 'crazy' as that will be interpreted to mean that they had been emotional and that you have a bad attitude towards women in general.

3. If she wants to, let her pay for dinner

It's the 21st century and women are working and earn salaries. If you go with your woman on a date and she wants to pay for dinner, then let her pay. That's a good thing for you. It is wrong for you to assume that you are supposed to pay when you are dating a feminist. If she prefers to pay or split the bill then just go with it. On the other hand, it is also okay if you want to pay the bill for the sake of doing something nice and not because she is a woman.

4. Don't push it

Feminism is all about equality, but you can still show some kind gestures such as making sure she gets home safely after your date. Walking her to her car or her door is allowed but if she says she is okay to do it by herself don't push it. If she believes she's capable of doing something by herself, then let her do it.

5. Don't be afraid to follow up

At the end of the date, share your thoughts about how you thought it went without being scared to hurt her feelings. If you didn't like it tell her. Most feminists appreciate honesty. If the date didn't go well on her part and she voices it, respect her feelings if she doesn't want a repeat. If it went well on both your parts and a second date is very likely, don't spoil it with a shitty communication style like asking her for nude pictures.

6. She's not too much

Don't be intimidated by her achievements. If you are dating a woman who is more successful than you, be proud of her. Most men usually become threatened by successful feminist women and label them as too much or try to make her feel less than she is.

7. Know the basics of feminism

Don't go asking her stupid jokes such as 'Do you hate men?' It is not funny, and she surely must have heard that question numerous times before and you will only appear uncreative. Before dating her, do some research on the history of feminism so that you do not look like a jerk or say unwitty things.

8. Don't be shocked if she holds the door for you

It is okay if you want to hold the door for her. However, do not be surprised if she does the same for you as an act of politeness. She believes in the equality of both genders and can do the same things you do.

9. DO NOT use pet names

A feminist will not appreciate being called 'sweetie,' 'honey,' or 'darling' during the early stages of your relationship or sometimes ever. They are old fashioned and condescending. However, if you have dated for a while, the use of these names could be okay.

Dating a feminist is not as hard as you believe it to be. You only need to know that you are dating someone who believes very deeply in a something. She will not hesitate to call you or your friends out if you say or act in a sexist way. However, don't walk on eggshells around her and watch everything you say or do. No female will like a man who lacks confidence. Feminism is about equal opportunities for both sexes and not about females domination. Don't be afraid to air your views or interest in the topic.

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