How To Approach & Attract Women

Two of the most frequent questions that guys ask me is: "Where can I meet attractive women? What do I say when I approach them?" These are questions that require some consideration, but not too much. Attractive women are everywhere, but most guys seem to get stuck in a scarcity mindset thinking otherwise.

The default location for meeting women seems to have become a nightclub or a bar of some sort. Personally, some men don't like these locations. There isn't anything inherently wrong with these locations. Some just don't particularly like them. The truth is, the best places to meet women are the places you most want to meet women! Let me explain. If you hate nightclubs and bars, why would you keep frequenting them in an effort to meet someone? Listen, women are everywhere! Attractive women don't ONLY go to bars and clubs. There are 7 billion people on the planet and over half of them are women.

There isn't a shortage of women! It's not like the "evil woman fairy" came in the middle of the night, kidnapped all of the attractive women and hid them in a cave in Mexico... Thinking that attractive women are in short supply is to have a scarcity mindset and it is a self-sabotaging belief. When it comes to meeting and attracting women you need to have an ABUNDANCE MINDSET. The best places to meet women, and start conversations with them, are places where you feel comfortable.

If you are an avid reader, and you like books, you probably regularly visit a local bookstore. Perhaps you are really into yoga or some sort of martial art. If that is the case, you should be approaching attractive women in these places. Another deciding factor is the type of women you want to meet. Where do they hang out? If you are attracted to highly social party girls you would probably find them at a dance club. If you are into artsy type girls you might want to check out an art museum.

The point is this: You need to define the type of woman you are interested in and that will give you the optimal location to find those women. Like I said, my personal favorite places to meet women would be in a bookstore or coffee shop. However, I do not limit myself to only approaching in these locations and neither should you. I only mention this because if you pick a few locations where you feel comfortable it will make your approach that much smoother and easier as a beginner. For that reason, I recommend you stick to the particular places you feel most comfortable when you do your first approaches and you are starting to learn the art of attracting women.

Let's assume for a second that you choose Starbucks as a place where you would like to meet women. You find yourself waiting in line to order and you notice, sitting near the window, is a super hot blonde. She is hammering away on her computer and you see several empty coffee cups on her table next to a stack of books. She looks stressed out and super busy. The next logical question is what do you say? What is your pick up line? What opener do you use?

The 2 Most Common Types of Openers and When to Use the Right One

The most frequently use types of openers fall into one of two categories. The first is direct and the second is indirect. There has been much debate over when and where you should which one. In a minute you will discover that it doesn't matter which one you use and why, but first you need to understand both.

Direct Openers

A direct opener is an opener that is meant to convey interest to the woman you are approaching. An example of a direct opener would be: "Hey, I just had to come over here and tell you how cute you are..." Direct openers can be very powerful and display confidence, which is very attractive to women.

Indirect Openers

An indirect opener is an opener that doesn't convey interest. It is a way to start a conversation with a woman that could actually convey disinterest. An example of an indirect opener would be: "Hey, could I get your opinion on something? My friend and I are having an argument and we want to know if you should floss before or after you brush your teeth?"

Both types of openers work… and sometimes they both fail miserably. The trick to making them work all the time is to make sure they are.

Authentic Openers

Authentic openers can be either direct or indirect. The point is that they are always an honest and authentic representation of what you are thinking or feeling in the exact moment you approach. You should never use an indirect opener like the one above if you have no genuine interest in when you should be flossing your teeth.

If you are using that line every time (and believe me some guys use the same line every time), the woman you are approaching will feel on some level that it's just a line. She isn't going to feel like you are being real with her... because you aren't!

Likewise, you shouldn't use a direct approach on women all day long, and tell them one after another that you think they are cute. Sometimes you need to display genuine curiosity in order for women to respond. It's all about calibrating your opener to the situation and to how you authentically feel in the moment.

The Power of Being in the Moment and How to Use it to Seduce Any Woman

The ability to stay present and in the moment with women is a quality that is extremely attractive. Most guys are in their head and thinking about what to say next. In fact, being in your head and not in the moment with women is, in my opinion, the number one cause of approach anxiety. Listening to the negative voice in your head when you are getting ready to approach is a game killer.

Think of that little voice as an annoying little friend who keeps telling you that you can't do something and then make it your aim to prove him wrong. Being in the moment is crucial to being successful with women. You shouldn't be using pre-scripted routines or lines when you approach, because doing so means you are not in the moment and you are not being present with her. The less you rely on "material" the more natural you will be and the less distracted you will be.

How to Deliver The Perfect Pick up Line... Every Time!

So, let's get back to the girl in the coffee shop from the example above. You find yourself waiting in line to order and you notice, sitting near the window, is a super hot blonde. She is hammering away on her computer and you see several empty coffee cups on her table next to a stack of books. She looks stressed out and super busy... Take a second to picture the scene. Now, what feels like the natural thing for you to say? The key is in observation. Being in the moment with her is all about observation and what you are noticing and feeling in the present moment.

Let's gather the facts: You're in Starbucks waiting in line. She is sitting near a window. She is super hot. She is hammering away on her computer. There are several empty coffee cups. There is a stack of books. She looks stressed. Now, imagine if you were in her shoes and a guy approaches you asking for an opinion on something. I don't know about you, but I'd be annoyed. It could work. In fact, I'm sure such an indirect approach has worked in the past on multiple occasions. A direct approach might even work in this case. The problem with BOTH of these approaches, however, is that they are pulling her out of the moment. This is something you want to avoid in most situations.

She is already having a conversation in her head. It would be much more beneficial and appropriate to join that conversation. Here is what I would do. I would grab my coffee and take a seat at the table next to her. I'd pull out my phone and start checking my email. Then I'd glance up and say: "Damn, that's a lot of coffee... looks like you're pretty stressed" That's it. Observation made. Pick up line delivered.

There are multiple openers that you could deliver in this situation. You could say: "How do you get any work done after drinking so much coffee? I'd just have to take my laptop to the bathroom with me", "Easy on the keyboard there slugger. I think all that coffee is making you aggressive." You could even stack these openers. Meaning, you say them all at various points when you are initiating the conversation. It might be better to open with genuine curiosity instead of playfully teasing her in this case as it looks like she is stressing out about something. Stating the obvious and getting curious about what is actually occurring in the moment would be a more natural way of starting conversation with her.

Wow, you look really stressed... long day?

Most guys fall into the trap of thinking they need to say the perfect thing at the perfect time, and unfortunately that results in a lot of missed opportunities with some pretty incredible women. Don't be one of those guys! What you say doesn't matter. It's how you say it, and the context in which what you say is applied, that matters. As long as you have a positive intention and a genuine desire to connect with another human being she will be more receptive then if you use a canned line or other pre-packaged seduction material.

Again, the most important thing for you to remember is to enter the conversation that is already happening in her head. Don't pull her out of the moment. Enter the moment with her. This way you won't have to work twice as hard to create a moment, because the moment is already happening.

Where to find women with similar interests

Instead of going to a public place looking for women, most people nowadays will visit an online dating site to look for women around the country or nearby in your local vicinity. Our dating site Let's Hang Out, is a completely free place to search for women, read their profile and get some conversation ideas - even finding interests that both of you share! The best part about our site is it's 100% free to use and you can also set up your own free profile for women to find!

Click here to sign up!