Trying Too Hard To Impress Your Date? Don't Do It!

Nothing is more embarrassing than trying hard to impress a date and miserably failing at it. A lot of women prefer transparency over hype. Trying to impress them with money, lavishness, and your political connection may not work all the time, unless if they have a vested interest on these things. In fact, many women will find it obnoxious, dull, and uncomfortable. As a result, your effort to impress becomes counterproductive.

Women do not like men who boast and brag. To a certain degree, people will find a man to be an accomplished one not by what he has to say, but by what he has done.

A truly impressive person does not even have to try. Confident men do not talk about themselves. They just exude confidence because that is what they are. If they do, they are often viewed as egotistic and self-centered. As it turns out, you might just end up annoying a person you are trying to impress.

Accomplished and self-made men are rooted. They are grounded. The do not have to assure themselves of who they are. All talks about money and accomplishments only make people think that you are insecure.

It is normal to reciprocate stories on a date. One takes her turn and the other takes his. We tell stories about our pasts and our interests. However, we need to exercise caution because talking too much about ourselves can make us sound like someone who is all too wrapped up in his world. And if we realize that we came off the wrong way, it makes the situation awkward. And sometimes, the damage is difficult to repair and you cannot get a second date.

To help you prevent these mistakes, here are a few things to think about when dating.

Avoid talking about money too early on

Various studies, including study at Harvard University involves thousands of single and married people in the US. Part of the study was to ask about sensitive issues like money, finances, dating and relationships. The studies concluded that money cannot buy love, that people's decisions about love are not influenced by money.

Besides, money is a private matter. Openly discussing it with someone you re not close with is a red flag that you do not have decency. That you are talkative and you cannot keep secrets.

No one needs to know about your achievements

Anyone who is gloating too much about his achievement can make the other party feel so insecure. To a degree, this insecurity leads to resentment and jealousy. A woman may go out with you on a second date. But most often than not, you will not have a second one. No one can stand an arrogant brag.

To prevent this, the best thing you need to do is to not talk about yourself. Instead, focus your attention to what your date has to say.

Do not drop names

The cardinal sin of dating is name-dropping. Your acquaintance with people is of little interest to a date. Dropping names just to make an impression that you have a place in society is, to say the least, a pathetic effort to convince your date that you are a somebody. You can't fool people. The more people you know, the more your date would think that you are a social climber.

She would think that you are pushing yourself to a social hierarchy where you have no place to be.

Let your date mention names first. And if you know who she is talking about, use this as an opportunity to show that you know that person. This is far more impressive than introducing the name yourself because she started the conversation about a social figure.

Do not try to impress unless asked

Think of five good things about you. These can be achievements and honorary awards you received over the past years. Do not bring up these achievements unless you were asked or unless they are directly relevant to the topic. It is always better to keep quiet, act nonchalantly, like as if you do not really care. And then surprise your dates with facts. There will come a time when you can take your date home with you. This is the best time to show your medals, trophies, and all your accomplishments.

Show, don't tell

It is always best that you let people judge your character according to your actions. This is a universal rule. Nobody gets impressed by talking about one's properties and achievements if these are laid out through words. Words only become meaningful if they are witty and smart.

Be a good listener. If you want to be liked, you must know that people like talking about themselves. Take advantage of this by listening and affirming what your date is saying. Only talk about yourself if asked and try to keep it low profile.

Connecting With People

People respond more to emotions than information. Advertisers know this. They appeal to how a person feels and you will observe this in commercials, movie soundtracks, and print ads. There is something we can learn from all of this: People generally do not get moved by what you say. They are moved by what you make them feel.

To cap that off, decisions are made mostly be emotions. This is why many marketers thrive on impulse buyers. Appeal to a person's emotions and you are likely make them do what you want them to.

Things to Do:

Start Listening – as mentioned earlier, listening is important in a date. It is a craft. You will impress people by your ability to listen to what they say, read between the words, and then respond with what they want to hear. Make follow-up questions to show interest. Engage your date.

Do not try to cut her off if she is still talking. Do not get too excited to share your thoughts. Keep it easy. Look her in the eye and if she paused to give you an opportunity to talk, take your turn.

Match the Energy – if your date is energetic, you must do the same. If your date is an introvert, you must tone down your energy. Trying hard to impress people with a high-pitched, overly excited voice can make someone feel uncomfortable. It turns people off.

Try to mirror a person's behavior and you will find that they are more likely to feel comfortable around you.

Find a common ground – there are things about your life that your date may have no idea about. While this can be an interesting subject matter, your date may not find it all too exciting. You have to talk about things that both of you will be interested in. This is why discussions on a first date usually revolve around education, movies, actors, music, art, etc. If you are lucky to find a common topic that you both like, say, the stock market, then take this as your common ground and exchange ideas and experiences.

Find out what makes the tick – get the other person to talk about the things she loves. And listen. If you let them discuss the things that matter to them, you will find yourself in a better position to impress your date by adding tidbits of information to what she has to say.

Connecting with people requires a conscious decision. You cannot just let yourself go and behave in ways that you normally would. You need to be observant. You need to watch your date's face if it lights up. Look at her eyes and figure out what subject matters spark interest. Use this to your advantage and you fill have impressed herself more than if you hogged all the talking.

Find someone to go dating with

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