What Happens When Introverts Marry Extroverts: 8 Crucial Things To Know

By Brooke Collits

Imagine the classic marriage conflict: it is a nice quite evening, and you want to enjoy the peace by just lying down on the bed and watching some Netflix. Your partner on the other hand wants to head out and have a late night at the pub. Or imagine being at a loud party, where one partner is having the time of their life dancing, while the other one is gritting their teeth with boredom and disappointment. Now, imagine living this way for the rest of your life with your partner.

The conundrum of introverts marrying extroverts can often get to the head. If you're an extrovert who has married an introvert, you might feel that the both of you are on separate wave lengths at all times. The chemistry might be dwindled, and there wouldn't be a lot of positive energy going on. However, not everything is doom and gloom during this stage.

Here we look at some of the crucial things that all introverts marrying extroverts should know. Married life isn't about being on the same page all the time, it is about realizing that it is okay to have separate feelings and connections on things around you.

Close Intimate Relationship

One of the most important characteristic of an extrovert and introvert relationship is that they have a very close intimate relationship. Building a bond with someone like you is one thing, and continuing a relationship with someone who is miles apart is another. In the latter situation, you need to have wonderful intimacy between each other. Intimacy is what makes relationships wonderful, and if you have the right intimate bond with your partner, you can make your relationship as wonderful as you possibly want.

This intimacy usually comes through the commitment of the couple to make things work well for each other. This is when they realize that their decisions and preferences won't always be the same, and if they have to make things work, they would have to be intimate and as close to each other as possible.

Separate Friends

This is one crucial thing you need to know and come to terms with. Couples that have different social standings happen to have separate friends as well. So, if your spouse is an introvert and you happen to be an extrovert, then the both of you will most definitely have a different set of friends.

You will, most definitely, not be able to resonate with her friends, and she would find it hard to resonate with your friends. This is because their friends would most definitely be the type they are, and your friends would most definitely be the type you are. So, the both of you would never be able to enjoy group meet-ups and sessions that well.

So, rather than forcing yourself to like each other's friends, it is best that you realize how you don't need to do that. As long as the both of you are happy with each other's presence in life, there is no specific need to force the friends as well. Just live in the moment and enjoy them for who they are, rather than shaping them to become your preferred version of what you want.

Fewer Common Leisure Activities

Oh, this is a crucial thing that you ought to know about marriages between introverts and extroverts. When introverts and extroverts marry each other, there aren't many leisure activities that they get to enjoy together. Well, yeah they can go for the occasional movie together, but they don't really frequent the galas, the carnivals and bars are often a no-go area.

So, you have to come to terms with not doing everything together. There are things you'd be comfortable with doing along, and there would be things they would prefer to do alone. What matters is that they look towards you for joy, companionship, emotional stability and all the intimacy they need in life.

Accept and Appreciate Your Difference

The key to a successful married life for an extrovert and introvert couple lies in appreciating their differences the way they are and working towards accepting each other.

These differences might feel like fertile ground for a conflict during the start, but you would be able to augment the potential in your relationship when you start appreciating them for what they are and accept the differences in each other.

Most relationships succeed with the right mindset. You, too, can start your relationship by viewing these differences, and seeing what your outlook towards them is. Do you view these differences as a variety that you can live with, or view them with dissatisfaction?

Your outlook to the differences is what matters and is what will define your progress with the relationship. If you really like the other person, and their presence matters to you, then there is no reason why you should let these differences get to your head.

Understand Personalities

There is a lot more to someone's personality, other than them being extroverted or introverted. Well, yeah most people are defined through their outlook towards socializing, but you can delve deep down into the personality of your spouse to see if they are the way you want.

You can start by understanding the factors that fuel their extroversion or introversion and make them the way they are. With a better understanding of these factors, you would be able to tell just how you want to proceed with the relationship.

Once you understand their personality, you can make a commitment for personally developing and growing further. Some people just happen to be introverts because of energy levels. If this is what makes your spouse an introvert or an extrovert, you can work on the energy levels to get the best out of them. However, some people also happen to be introverts or extroverts because of specific and sensitive life happenings, in which case you shouldn't try too hard to get a change going.

Understanding the personality of your spouse is important; as it gives you reason enough to know just how you should be around them. It will also help you understand the way they act and make future plans based on that understanding.

Always Ask Questions

One thing we have noticed about introverted and extroverted couples is that they lead their assessment of the other person to assumptions. Rather than asking and clearing doubts, they just leave everything on assumptions.

We think it is extremely important that you ask specific questions from your introverted or extroverted spouse. Ask them what they love doing the most? What they hate doing the most? What kind of socializing is the least problematic for them? And what are the parameters that they have set for themselves?

With your understanding of the answers to all of these questions, you can start figuring out the middle ground you need to make things work with each other. Maybe your introverted partner does like big parties, but doesn't like you wanting to cajole him/her out of the corner all the time.

Understand their perspective and make things work. When both of you are looking to understand each other, there is nothing that would be left up for interpretation or assumption.

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